Preface
In Mount Thirsty Mule, a man is judged not by the scope of his accomplishments, the girth of his flesh cyclops, or the number of Arkansan ears worn around his neck. He is not even judged by the amount of chili dogs he can consume in under three minutes - even though that is how we citizens traditionally choose our Mayor. We like to think of Mount Thirsty Mule as a kind of libertarian utopia - don't no one care whose brother married whose pitbull, or whose cookin' meth in whose bathtub. We got sawed-ff shotguns and homemade porno tapes practically growin' from the trees. As long as a body don't cause trouble for no one else, a body is not going to be bothered with or judged harshly. We, The Mount Thirsty Mule Tribunal of Elders, was even lenient on ol' Ramblin' Bob Glass when he done set fire to the public library - citin' that A) it was wholly an accident, with nary a malicious intent at its root, and B) It really was one kick-ass inferno to watch.
Bearin' in mind this "live and let live" philosophy that flows through our streets, it is not surprisin' in the least that Kegans DuBois was eventually banished from the town, in light of everythin' what done happened. It is not even the mildest lil' shock, not even the smallest zing from the battery to the tip of the tongue that Kegans DuBois was the first ever citizen in Mount Thirsty Mule's long history of bootleggers, rabble-rousers and bat-people to be one hundred percent irredeemably banished. Now some of ya'll might argue that without Kegans DuBois our history would never have been set down to paper. But most of us would say that paper is better off wiping cornholes than being used as Kegans DuBois done. Most of us would say that we never wanted our history documented in the first damn place.
Cordially,
The Mount Thirsty Mule Tribunal of Elders:
Mayor Achilles "Griff" Griffington
Ol' Possum Face Joe McCready
Sheriff Mordecai Baracus
Twyla Baracus
Garagore, Official Bat-Person Ambassador to the Human Inhabitants of Mount Thirsty Mule
Judge Edmund Butts
Dame K. Metzgar
Cade Ekblad-Frank
In Mount Thirsty Mule, a man is judged not by the scope of his accomplishments, the girth of his flesh cyclops, or the number of Arkansan ears worn around his neck. He is not even judged by the amount of chili dogs he can consume in under three minutes - even though that is how we citizens traditionally choose our Mayor. We like to think of Mount Thirsty Mule as a kind of libertarian utopia - don't no one care whose brother married whose pitbull, or whose cookin' meth in whose bathtub. We got sawed-ff shotguns and homemade porno tapes practically growin' from the trees. As long as a body don't cause trouble for no one else, a body is not going to be bothered with or judged harshly. We, The Mount Thirsty Mule Tribunal of Elders, was even lenient on ol' Ramblin' Bob Glass when he done set fire to the public library - citin' that A) it was wholly an accident, with nary a malicious intent at its root, and B) It really was one kick-ass inferno to watch.
Bearin' in mind this "live and let live" philosophy that flows through our streets, it is not surprisin' in the least that Kegans DuBois was eventually banished from the town, in light of everythin' what done happened. It is not even the mildest lil' shock, not even the smallest zing from the battery to the tip of the tongue that Kegans DuBois was the first ever citizen in Mount Thirsty Mule's long history of bootleggers, rabble-rousers and bat-people to be one hundred percent irredeemably banished. Now some of ya'll might argue that without Kegans DuBois our history would never have been set down to paper. But most of us would say that paper is better off wiping cornholes than being used as Kegans DuBois done. Most of us would say that we never wanted our history documented in the first damn place.
Cordially,
The Mount Thirsty Mule Tribunal of Elders:
Mayor Achilles "Griff" Griffington
Ol' Possum Face Joe McCready
Sheriff Mordecai Baracus
Twyla Baracus
Garagore, Official Bat-Person Ambassador to the Human Inhabitants of Mount Thirsty Mule
Judge Edmund Butts
Dame K. Metzgar
Cade Ekblad-Frank
posted by John-Ross Boyce at 1:57 PM
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